How to overcome social anxiety?
If you’re an empathic being you are probably a highly sensitive being, too. Sensitive people often find themselves feeling super stressed out, even panicked in social situations – thus causing social anxiety especially in situations where there are loads of unfamiliar people, with a lot going on all at once. It can overwhelm you to the point where the mere idea of having to talk with a new person may feel paralyzing. It can make you want to just run from it all and go hide!
Click here to read our article about “How To Stop Feeling Overwhelmed.”
Well, it doesn’t have to be that way! So, how to overcome social anxiety? Let’s talk about what’s causing social anxiety first.
What Causes Social Anxiety?
So much of what we experience in a state of anxiety may seem uber real at the time. But, in actuality, much of what we find ourselves feeling anxious or even afraid of has little to do with the present moment.
Let’s examine this. What are some of the thoughts that go through our minds when we are starting to stress out say at a party: “Will anyone really want to talk to me?” “I never know what to say when people want to know more about me. I’m just not that interesting.” “Everyone else looks so much cooler than me! Why did I wear these clothes?” “What if I make a fool of myself?” “I can’t breathe, I’m so freaked out!”
Most of this negative self-talk has little to do with anything that is happening in real time, but more to do with projecting a lot of ‘what-ifs’ about the future, what-ifs that are often related to things that have happened in the past. And, ‘what-ifs’ rarely come to pass unless we set ourselves up that way. By constantly projecting negative, self-disparaging thoughts – even if just inside our own minds, we can create a self-fulfilling prophecy that might otherwise have been averted had we chosen to stay focused in the present.
What Can You Do to Overcome Panic?
One of the first things that we can actually take control of in the here and now is our breathing. When we are freaked out the ‘fright or flight’ response kicks in, and our breathing becomes very rapid and shallow. The remedy to this is to simply tune in to our breathing and to consciously take several long, gentle, deep breaths so that our parasympathetic nervous system can bring our heart rate back down, and regulate our breathing to where we can feel calm and grounded again.
Even before arriving at a potentially dreadful social gathering, we can follow our deep breathing with an empowering dress rehearsal of sorts.
What I mean by that is, rather than allowing our fears to conjure up all sorts of possible negative outcomes, we can practice calling to mind the memory of our most loving and safe social experiences. In this way we are forearmed and prepared if and when our anxiety starts to kick in.
Look past your fear!
Now, I know you have heard the expression, “Face your fear” before. I think most of us have. But, what does it really mean? And, how does looking your fear dead in the eye help you to see anything other than, well, your fear?
It is perhaps more helpful to think in terms of looking through the fear, or past it to find what lies beyond it. You might be very pleasantly surprised by what you find.
A New Perspective on How to Overcome Social Anxiety
We Are Mirrors For One Another
While you may feel hyper-sensitive about the vibes people may be picking up about you, everyone else in the room is giving off vibes of their own. Each one of us has a story to tell, and we are telling our story all the time through the vibrational energy we are broadcasting in any given situation.
If we are freaking out at a party full of people we have only just met, worried that they might feel we are ‘less than’, ‘uninteresting’, ‘too fat’, ‘too thin’, ‘too quiet’, ‘too loud’….not only are we projecting the very energy we don’t want to attract, we are also keeping ourselves from seeing anything but!
By choosing to simply breathe, to remember the love inside, and to silently look out beyond our own stuff, we’ll see for instance that Sally over there is desperately trying to get John’s attention while broadcasting that she believes herself unworthy of it by the way she constantly fusses with her clothes and hair. Or, we’ll notice that Peter over there has had a few drinks too many, and is talking way too loud to compensate for the fact that no one is really paying him any mind, because his vibe is projecting that ‘no one is ever interested’ in what he has to say, and so on, and so on.
We all have our stories. We all have our fears. And, we all project our stories in more ways than we know. So, if we look past our stories out into the world, what will we see? Ourselves!
You are an empathic soul, right?…a sensitive, caring being despite all of your fears and anxieties. What if you were to silently acknowledge that everyone else around you is also a loving, caring, sensitive entity despite what your five senses tell you about them, despite what they may be broadcasting to the contrary?
And, what if you were to quietly imagine, even to rehearse for every Sally, John and Peter in the room, a warm, loving memory in essence just like the one you rehearsed for yourself before coming to this crazy party? What if you were to inwardly identify and come to the rescue not only of your own sensitive inner self, but of everyone in the room?!
It is so easy to do! We just have to look past our drama to a place that exists within each one of us to find the magic!
The Powerful, Simple Cure for Social Anxiety
Love is the Answer
So how exactly do we look past ‘stuff’, the drama, the anxiety and pain? What if we really don’t like someone? What if we really, really don’t like someone?! Well, the good news is that love is indeed the answer! And, what is even better news is that everyone, no matter who they are has love at the center of their being!
Fundamentally we all know this, however difficult it may be to admit. Do you want to know how you can not only see the love in anyone, but also feel love for anyone?
Love is Energy
When we understand that we are each made up of consciousness, of energy vibrating at different frequencies we create an opening for the realization that although we appear to be different from one another, we are all essentially made of the same stuff!
Here’s an experiment to try for yourself. The next time you are in a room with a bunch of people you don’t really know, choose to remain predominantly silent and observant. Then, begin visualizing the inner source of love energy that exists at the heart of each person there. Choose to look past all appearances, past their ‘story’ directly to the love within, and bless this essential essence of who they truly are. Bless them, and bless them some more. Focus all of your energy on being absolutely loving toward them. Practice knowing that they, like you, are actually spiritual beings doing the best they can while inhabiting physical 3-D bodies. Then, watch what happens!
Remember, because we are essentially made up of energy, we are constantly ‘vibing’ at various frequencies depending on where we put our moment-by-moment focus. Most important to remember is that we are all loving, compassionate souls at our source with an innate desire to express and share from our hearts – whether we are consciously aware of it, or not.
So, here you are, silently repeating your loving mantra for the benefit of those around you: “May you be happy. May you be well!” – or, something to that effect – and suddenly you’re aware of how wonderfully calm you feel. Your anxiety levels have measurably dropped, you’re far less self-absorbed in fear-based thought. In fact, your entire energy field is now vibrating at a much higher frequency. Not only that, but the energetic resonance of the entire room has risen, as well!
Let this be truly okay! Allow your heart to shine through your eyes, through your smile, and through your calm stillness. Continue with this simple, yet not “little” exercise, and you will have almost achieved your goal of being angst-free in a social gathering. I say almost because the circuit is incomplete at this stage.
Let’s take it a little deeper.
The greatest blessing we can possibly offer another human soul is that of being truly open and present for them. There are two ways that you can do this:
- Be silent and bless them with all your heart.
- Be open to receiving the blessings that come back atcha!
The key to understanding all of this is that we are not bubbles isolated unto ourselves. We’re all connected! And, fundamentally, we all want the same thing – to be loved and to give love!
It’s not enough to just silently and lovingly sing your song of praise to everyone at this proverbial par-tay . There is an invisible, yet very tangible message emanating from all hearts in the room, too, as they tune into your vibration. You have spoken to that power, the source of all that is. Now it is your turn to listen.
Love, listen, and know all is well!
You Can Overcome Social Anxiety
Listen to this audio to discover a simple, POWERFUL method you can use anywhere, anytime to create good vibes, and overcome stress and anxiety in any social situation. With this technique you will leave any gathering feeling energized and inspired instead of drained and weirded out.
This powerful, proven method can and will:
- Be applied anytime, anywhere, in the quiet intimate space of your own mind and heart
- Always be completely free
- Fill you with the powerful spiritual energy that is love and joy
- Drastically decrease fear and social anxiety
- Replace social anxiety with a deep sense of love, peace and inner harmony
As you listen to this, take your time to absorb what you’re learning deeply. This method is simple, yet profound. You have to apply what you learn for it to work. See for yourself how much better you feel, and how your life and relationships improve when you start using this!
Experience Ease and Grace In Social Situations - Give and Receive Blessings
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Wonderful words or should I say energy, I am grateful to you and
I love you
Aloha mate, awesome talk, very refreshing. It actually works!! Blessings, bro…